How to Change Your Relationship With Time
The speed that time travels is not fixed — it’s fluid
The human relationship with time is interesting. Often people clamor, “Life is too short!” Other times, the sentiment is “Life is long, there is no need to rush.” I believe this dichotomy is a reflection of how people live their daily lives. This is similar to Newton’s First Law of Physics, which says:
an object will not change it’s motion unless a force acts upon it.
If we translate this to people’s relationship with time, those who feel life is short must feel short on time in their daily lives, unable to slow down their tumultuous sprint. And those who feel life is long must take deliberate time to sit with their tasks and thoughts.
Like everything in our imperfect human existence, our relationship with time sits on a spectrum and will shift throughout our lives. Take a moment to question where your current position lies. Does your life feel rushed and every moment of your day is filled with “essential” activities? Or are you at peace with time and every second feels like it lasts an hour?
There is no right or wrong way to navigate our lives, but it is necessary to acknowledge that true growth will come from moderation. There can be serious health consequences in overloading our mind and body, and it is also unlikely we will get anywhere substantial if we lack a sense of tenacity to achieve our goals.
What I propose is balance, and what follows are three key habits that are beneficial to anyone, regardless of where you come from or what your story is. Adopting these habits into your life will help you take control of your time and subsequently make better choices for your well-being.
- Getting Enough Sleep
Regardless of what your friends who get 4 or fewer hours a night say, sleep is essential to your well-being. With the pressure to constantly be productive, it can feel counterintuitive to “waste” 8 hours of your day laying inert, but without sleep, the amount you can achieve drastically declines.
Any action we take in our awake hours requires energy, even the solely mentally-stimulating conundrums. In the same token, our brain typically defaults to the easier option if one is provided, acting as a reserve for the energy we do have. When we lack sleep, we inherently lack the motivation to challenge our brains, because we simply do not have the energy to do so.
This is why your best work cannot be done when exhausted: you need sleep to function at your highest level; otherwise, you are vulnerable to producing sub-par work or even making disastrous decisions because your energy levels are down.
Getting enough sleep does not only affect cognitive performance, but also overall well-being. When we lack sleep, we tend to become more easily irritable, more sensitive to negativity, and generally an unpleasant person to be around. Compound this negative energy day-in-day-out, and the results will be a lack of satisfaction in multiple parts of our life.
It might just be inherent, but I never took sleep for granted. When my friends would complain (read: brag) about pulling all-nighters or only getting 3 hours of sleep, I never envied their situation. I was mostly concerned because I knew how much less effective I was when I lacked a good night’s rest.
Like most things in life, how much sleep a person needs will vary from person to person. I currently get 8 hours of sleep every night, but this was not always the case. Sometimes I slept 7 hours regularly; other times I needed 10 hours to feel well-rested. I cannot guarantee 8 hours will work for everyone, but it is a good place to start.
While energy levels are dependent on many factors, such as what we eat, how often we exercise, our destress methods, and so on, getting regular sleep might be one of the easiest ones to remedy. Cultivating this habit is not difficult, but it does take discipline. Having a regular sleep schedule is recommended, meaning going to bed at the same time every night and waking up at the same time every morning. Nurturing your body with sleep will help you in many ways; by boosting your energy levels, you’ll be more productive and also just be a more pleasant person to be around.
2. Time Away From Screens
Everyone at this point has either heard or said that people spend too much time on their screens. This can be on our phones, TVs, tablets, video games, social media apps, among others I know I missed. And the truth is that yes, we do spend too much time in our virtual worlds, but it is not to any fault of our own.
These devices and applications are created to keep us glued to the screens. I will give credit to the positive influencers and the stories on our favorite streaming services that are captivating and inspiring, making our experience on our screens worthwhile. But the platform’s intent is still the same: to steal time out of your day to improve their retention rate and overall ratings.
Maybe steal is a strong word to use, but am I wrong? When you scroll through Instagram, the next image is just a short swipe away; when on YouTube, new videos are recommended to keep you on the platform; movies and television create compelling stories so you stay to the end or watch another episode. All of these rob you of hours of your day, and what do you get out of it, besides some entertainment and lost time?
The creators of these platforms, especially social media and interactive applications, exploit our desire for instant gratification. I may be an outlier here, but I would rather not give in to their tactics and reclaim my time.
Instead of consuming, I want to be creating, but that can only happen by stepping away from the alluring pull of our screens. Think of it as living out a 21st-century version of Odysseus resisting the enticing songs of the sirens.
I am convinced that life is long, but what makes it feel short is the constant desire for stimulation, and beyond that, wanting to feel involved in everything. As humans, we want to fit in with others and so seeing the latest movie or consuming our favorite influencers’ content makes us feel like we are part of something larger than ourselves. And that is perfectly okay — to a point.
There is no need to purge all screens. Not only would that method not last, but it’s not practical in our current era. Moderation is key. Start by setting application restrictions on your phone; set a timer when you turn on the TV so that two episodes do not turn into a whole season. You may be asking yourself, “But why? What will I do with my reclaimed time?” Well, that leads me to the next and final habit I feel can benefit all lives.
3. Quiet Time to Ponder
Now that I’ve convinced you to get more rest and put the phone away for a while (after you finish reading this post, of course), you are primed for the next practice, which coincidentally is my favorite: giving yourself time to ponder.
With work demands, societal expectations, social media, and all the other influences in our life, it can be challenging to discover who we are. We are told every day, in a myriad of different ways, what is the right way to live — I mean let’s face it, that’s what I am doing right now. I do not think there is anything wrong with friendly advice, but if you are not careful and do not give yourself the time to reflect on what you want to adopt or discard, you may lose yourself in others’ expectations.
I cannot say an explicit amount of time is beneficial, as this is something that requires some personal experimentation. However, I can say that time for reflection should be somewhat regular. If you force yourself into a reflective state every day, it may become overwhelming; but if you only take a step back to think about your life every five years, you may miss valuable lessons along the way.
Many people do not like to sit with their thoughts. It is uncomfortable to acknowledge that circumstances need to change in our life or maybe we have to admit we made a mistake. But the way I see it, coming to terms with the truth is the only way we can make better decisions moving forward.
Taking time to ponder does not need to be all about making profound discoveries about ourselves. It can also be as simple as understanding what activities interest us; it can lead us to undertake new hobbies we did not realize we were dying to experience; or it can give us clarity on a project we’ve been stuck on. Every waking moment of the day, our minds are taking in information from our surroundings, but the only way we can truly reap the benefits of our experiences is by giving our mind time to settle. When we do this, we give our minds the space to create the connections that were lost in the jumble of stimulation.
One last benefit I recognized when I introduced regular reflection is that time does not seem to move so fast anymore. On our screens, the minutes and hours zoom by, but being in silence or taking a walk and noticing the surroundings, you will realize that the speed at which time travels is fluid. It depends on your state of mind.
Reclaim Your Time
We all have habits that feel non-negotiable, but be sure you are mindful of the genesis of these activities. Is scrolling through social media a must because it helps your personal development, or is it just addicting? Do you only sleep five hours a night because you feel energized on that amount of sleep, or do you simply feel pressured for time in your day?
My non-negotiable habits are getting enough sleep and having time to be with myself. When I finally realized I was tumbling through an ocean of other people’s expectations, I knew it was essential to discover who I am and what I want out of life. These habits required discipline but they allow me to navigate life at my highest potential and continually practice self-awareness.
For the moment, life feels long. I cannot see the end of the horizon, and that is relieving because there is so much I would like to accomplish, and I feel I have the time to do it all.
Even so, I know this state of mind is not permanent. I will encounter moments where life feels too short, but at least I’ll be able to recognize how my relationship with time has shifted, and that I have the power to change my perception and reaction to it.
